There are few ideas more deeply embedded within modern culture than the notion of strength.
From an early age, many men are taught—directly and indirectly—that strength is measured through composure, self-reliance, and the ability to endure discomfort without complaint.
To be dependable.
To remain in control.
To keep moving forward, regardless of circumstance.
These qualities are not without value. Perseverance, responsibility, courage, and resilience remain important foundations of healthy masculinity.
Yet when strength becomes synonymous with emotional suppression, a different challenge begins to emerge.
Many men learn how to perform strength long before they learn how to understand themselves.
As a result, emotional wellbeing can become secondary to achievement, responsibility, and expectation. Difficult experiences are endured rather than processed. Stress is normalised. Vulnerability is postponed indefinitely.
Over time, this can create a disconnect—not only from emotions, but from wellbeing itself.
Men's Mental Health Month provides an opportunity to reconsider these assumptions.
Not by rejecting masculinity, but by expanding our understanding of it.
Mental health challenges affect people from all walks of life, yet men often face unique barriers when it comes to recognising distress and seeking support.
According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, men account for approximately three-quarters of suicide deaths in Australia. While statistics alone cannot capture the complexity of mental health, they do highlight the importance of creating environments where conversations about emotional wellbeing are normalised rather than avoided.
Research also suggests that men are less likely to access mental health services, often seeking support only when challenges have become difficult to manage independently.
This reluctance is rarely about a lack of need.
More often, it reflects long-standing social expectations around self-reliance, stoicism, and emotional control.
The result is that many men carry significant emotional burdens quietly, believing they should be able to manage alone.
Emotional awareness is often misunderstood.
It is not about becoming more emotional, nor does it require constant introspection.
At its core, emotional awareness is the ability to recognise, understand, and appropriately respond to internal experiences.
Psychologists often refer to this as emotional intelligence—the capacity to identify emotions and use that information constructively.
Yet for many men, emotional literacy is rarely encouraged.
Physical skills may be taught.
Professional skills may be developed.
But the ability to understand one's internal world is often left unexplored.
The consequence is not an absence of emotion.
It is a reduced capacity to interpret what those emotions are communicating.
Frustration may conceal disappointment.
Anger may mask fear.
Exhaustion may signal chronic stress rather than physical fatigue.
Withdrawal may indicate overwhelm rather than a desire to be alone.
Without awareness, these experiences can become difficult to navigate.
With awareness, they become information.
And information creates choice.
Conversations surrounding masculinity have evolved considerably in recent years.
Too often, however, the discussion becomes framed as a choice between traditional masculinity and emotional wellbeing.
In reality, the two are not mutually exclusive.
Qualities such as courage, responsibility, perseverance, loyalty, and protectiveness remain deeply valuable.
The challenge is not removing these characteristics.
It is broadening the definition of strength itself.
Healthy masculinity allows space for:
It recognises that resilience and openness can coexist.
That accountability and compassion are complementary rather than contradictory.
And that seeking support is not a sign of weakness, but an act of self-respect.
True strength is not measured by how much a person can carry alone.
It is measured by their capacity to adapt, recover, and continue moving forward in a healthy and sustainable way.
Every person experiences stress.
What often determines wellbeing is not the presence of stress itself, but how we respond to it.
When healthy coping mechanisms are absent, people frequently turn to strategies that provide temporary relief without addressing the underlying issue.
These may include:
While these responses can feel effective in the short term, they often increase distress over time.
Research consistently identifies several protective factors that support psychological wellbeing and resilience.
Regular physical activity remains one of the most effective tools for supporting mental health.
Movement can help regulate stress hormones, improve mood, and provide a healthy outlet for emotional tension.
Human beings are inherently social.
Meaningful relationships continue to be one of the strongest protective factors against poor mental health outcomes.
Even a single trusted connection can significantly improve resilience during difficult periods.
Journaling, mindfulness, and intentional self-reflection create opportunities to better understand emotional experiences rather than avoid them.
In a culture that often celebrates constant productivity, recovery can be overlooked.
Yet genuine recovery is essential for mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.
Rest is not something we earn.
It is something we require.
Seeking support from a mental health professional is not reserved for times of crisis.
Like exercise or preventative healthcare, it can be a proactive investment in long-term wellbeing.
Perhaps one of the most important shifts we can make is redefining what strength looks like.
Strength is not pretending everything is fine when it isn't.
Strength is recognising when you're struggling and responding with honesty rather than avoidance.
Strength is understanding your emotions instead of being controlled by them.
Strength is asking for support when you need it.
And strength is prioritising your wellbeing alongside your responsibilities.
Because resilience is not built through suppression.
It is built through awareness, adaptation, and connection.
Reflections From Our Community
As part of Men's Mental Health Month, we invited members of our community to share their personal reflections on mental health, resilience, and wellbeing. Their stories highlight the importance of connection, vulnerability, and seeking support during life's challenges.
The following quotes are taken directly from their reflections. Full reflections can be found at the end of this blog.
Jal van Gogouk III
“Strength is being honest when you’re struggling. Strength is admitting when you’re tired. Strength is reaching out to people you trust and allowing them to support you.”
“Success means very little if you sacrifice your wellbeing along the way.”
“Real strength isn’t about carrying everything by yourself. Real strength is having the courage to connect, to share, and to keep moving forward together.”
Peter Bol
“You don’t have to go through the good times or the tough times alone.”
“Reaching out, talking to someone you trust, and supporting one another are signs of strength.”
“A simple conversation can make a real difference.”
Butrus Haider
“The strongest men are those who understand their emotions and are willing to confront and work through them.”
“The struggles we refuse to acknowledge are often the ones that have the greatest impact on us.”
“Mental wellbeing is not about having all the answers. It is about having the awareness, resilience, and support to navigate life’s difficult moments when they come.”
“Sometimes the strongest thing a man can do is speak up, and sometimes the most powerful thing a mate can do is listen.”
Ochan Aba
“Many men are hurting in silence.”
“Many men are not looking for sympathy; they are looking for connection, understanding, and a space where they feel heard.”
“True strength is not pretending everything is okay. True strength is having the courage to speak up, ask for help, and support others who may be struggling.”
“Sometimes a conversation can change a life.”
Jima Banek
“For a long time, I thought being strong meant handling everything on my own.”
“Real strength is being honest when you’re struggling and allowing others to support you.”
“Sometimes the most important person to show up for is yourself.”
“Asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s courage.”
Loar Deng
“True strength is also having the courage to ask for help, speak openly, and lean on the people around you when life becomes challenging.”
“Success means very little if you neglect your wellbeing.”
“You don’t have to carry everything on your own.”
“The people who care about you would rather hear about your struggles than watch you suffer in silence.”
Melesh P
“As men, we need to normalise using our voices.”
“We need to normalise creating safe spaces and encouraging our peers to openly talk about their feelings and express their emotions.”
“Plenty of men suffer in silence because they fear being lonely, being shamed, or being outcast for being different.”
“By creating environments where vulnerability is accepted rather than judged, we can help break that cycle and encourage more men to seek the support they need.”
MensLine Australia
Free 24/7 counselling and support for men experiencing stress, relationship challenges, mental health concerns, anger, family issues, or suicidal thoughts.
Phone: 1300 78 99 78
Lifeline Australia
24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention.
Phone: 13 11 14
Text: 0477 13 11 14
Beyond Blue
Free and confidential mental health support for anxiety, depression, stress, and wellbeing concerns.
Phone: 1300 22 4636
Suicide Call Back Service
24/7 support for people experiencing suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, or those supporting someone at risk.
Phone: 1300 659 467
......
Jal van Gogouk III
“When people look at me today, they often see someone who is ambitious, involved in the community, building businesses, creating opportunities for young people, and constantly working towards the next goal.
What they don’t always see are the challenges that come with carrying responsibility, facing setbacks, managing pressure, and trying to meet expectations, both from others and from myself.
Like many men, there have been times in my life when I felt I needed to have all the answers. I believed that being strong meant handling everything on my own. I thought that asking for help was something you did only when you had exhausted every other option.
As I have grown older, I have realised that strength looks very different.
Strength is being honest when you’re struggling. Strength is admitting when you’re tired. Strength is reaching out to people you trust and allowing them to support you. Most importantly, strength is understanding that your mental wellbeing is just as important as your physical health.
Throughout my journey, I have experienced moments of uncertainty, disappointment, stress, and self-doubt. There have been times when plans didn’t work out, opportunities disappeared, and challenges seemed overwhelming. What helped me through those moments was connection, family, friends, mentors, colleagues, and people who were willing to listen without judgement.
One lesson I continue to learn is that success means very little if you sacrifice your wellbeing along the way. We live in a world that celebrates achievement, productivity, and constant hustle, but we don’t always talk enough about rest, balance, and taking care of ourselves.
Men’s Mental Health Month is an important reminder that we don’t have to carry life’s burdens alone. Every man faces struggles at some point. The question isn’t whether challenges will come; it’s whether we are willing to talk about them when they do.
To every man reading this: check in on yourself. Check in on your mates. Ask genuine questions and be prepared to listen. Sometimes a simple conversation can change someone’s day, and sometimes it can change a life.
If you’re going through a difficult season, know that asking for support is not weakness. It is one of the bravest decisions you can make.
My hope is that we continue to build communities where men feel comfortable speaking openly about their mental health, where vulnerability is respected, and where no one feels they have to suffer in silence.
Because at the end of the day, real strength isn’t about carrying everything by yourself. Real strength is having the courage to connect, to share, and to keep moving forward together.”
Peter Bol
“Personally, my journey has been so much better with people around me with. I have come to realise that you don’t have to go through the good times or the tough times alone. Reaching out, talking to someone you trust, and supporting one another are signs of strength. A simple conversation can make a real difference.
My journey has not always been easy, but it has been manageable thanks to the strong circle of people around me. People I consistently turn to through both the good times and the bad.”
Butrus Haider
“Growing up as a South Sudanese man, I believed strong men didn’t show emotion, express themselves or carry their struggles quietly. Strength was often equated with silence and self-reliance.
However, I’ve come to realise that speaking your mind isn’t weakness. The strongest men are those who understand their emotions and are willing to confront and work through them.
The struggles we refuse to acknowledge are often the ones that have the greatest impact on us.
That has become one of the biggest lessons in my life. The danger is not always the challenge itself; it is what happens when we ignore it. If we do not recognise what we are carrying, it becomes much harder to do something about it.
As a husband and father, I know life comes with pressure, responsibility, and seasons that test you. I believe you are only as strong as the challenges you have overcome. Mental wellbeing is not about having all the answers. It is about having the awareness, resilience, and support to navigate life’s difficult moments when they come.
My biggest challenge to men is this: let’s get better at supporting each other. Women often have strong networks where they talk, share, and check in with one another. As men, we need to create more spaces where we can have honest conversations and genuinely ask, “How are you really doing?”
Sometimes the strongest thing a man can do is speak up, and sometimes the most powerful thing a mate can do is listen.”
Ochan Aba
“As someone who works with athletes and creates content around mental health, loneliness, identity, and belonging, I’ve seen how many men carry struggles that nobody else can see. One thing I’ve learned through my videos is that many men are hurting in silence. Some are battling depression, anxiety, grief, or stress. Others are dealing with loneliness while being surrounded by friends, family, or teammates. For many African and migrant men, there is also the pressure of providing for others, succeeding, and representing their families while carrying the weight of their own challenges. Growing up, many of us were taught to stay strong, keep our emotions to ourselves, and push through difficult times. While resilience is important, constantly suffering in silence can have serious consequences.
The reason I speak about mental health online is because I know there are people who feel alone in their experiences. The response to my videos has shown me that many men are not looking for sympathy they are looking for connection, understanding, and a space where they feel heard. To me, true strength is not pretending everything is okay. True strength is having the courage to speak up, ask for help, and support others who may be struggling.
This Men’s Mental Health Month, let’s remind men that they don’t have to carry their burdens alone. Sometimes a conversation can change a life.”
Jima Banek
“For a long time, I thought being strong meant handling everything on my own. As men, we’re often taught to push through and stay quiet, but I’ve learned that real strength is being honest when you’re struggling and allowing others to support you.
Throughout my life, I’ve lost close friends, too many to count. There have been moments that mentally drained me and pushed me closer to the edge than most people would realise. For years, I carried those burdens alone, but learning to open up and let people in made a huge difference.
Working a day job while also being involved in the nightlife industry has brought its own challenges. There have been times I’ve felt burnt out from constantly trying to be there for everyone else while forgetting to take care of myself. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that I can’t be the hero in everyone’s story, and that’s okay. Sometimes the most important person to show up for is yourself.
To any man who may be struggling right now: you don’t have to carry everything alone. Talk to someone you trust. Asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s courage. Your value isn’t defined by your hardest days, and there is always hope in moving forward.”
Loar Deng
“Men’s mental health is something I believe deserves far more attention and open conversation.
Growing up, many of us were taught that being a man meant being strong, handling our problems alone, and never showing vulnerability. While resilience is important, I’ve learned that true strength is also having the courage to ask for help, speak openly, and lean on the people around you when life becomes challenging.
As a refugee who came to Australia at a young age, I’ve experienced firsthand the pressures that can come with adapting to a new country, supporting family, building a career, and trying to create opportunities for future generations. There were times when the weight of responsibility felt overwhelming, but what helped me most was staying connected to my faith, family, friends, mentors, and community.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that success means very little if you neglect your wellbeing. Looking after your mental health is just as important as looking after your physical health. Whether it’s having a conversation with a trusted friend, exercising, spending time outdoors, praying, seeking professional support, or simply taking time to reset, we all need healthy ways to recharge.
My message to men is simple: you don’t have to carry everything on your own. Speaking up is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength. The people who care about you would rather hear about your struggles than watch you suffer in silence.
Let’s continue creating communities where men feel safe to be honest, supported, and encouraged to prioritise their mental wellbeing.”
Melesh P
“The one piece of advice I’d give my fellow brothers is that, as men, we need to normalise using our voices to address or speak up about situations that we can foresee resulting in a negative outcome, even if it creates an awkward environment or jeopardises a friendship. We also need to normalise creating safe spaces and encouraging our peers to openly talk about their feelings and express their emotions, while providing them with the necessary support, whether that’s referrals to professional help or simply being there for them by checking in regularly and reminding them that they are loved. Plenty of men suffer in silence because they fear being lonely, being shamed, or being outcast for being different and speaking about their emotions, so they choose to remain neutral and act as though they’re okay. By creating environments where vulnerability is accepted rather than judged, we can help break that cycle and encourage more men to seek the support they need.”
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